Lying is about controlling someone else's reality hoping what they don't know won't hurt you

Lying is about controlling someone else's reality hoping what they don't know won't hurt you

That moment when you hand your phone a girl to type in her number instead she texts REDCROSS to 90999 for a $10 donation. I can't even be mad...

That moment when you get into an argument and then she realizes you're right but turns up the sad-puppy-face and goes quiet for a really long time and somehow magically wins the argument

That moment when you get into an argument and then she realizes you're right but turns up the sad-puppy-face and goes quiet for a really long time and somehow magically wins the argument

Behind every angry woman.....stands a man who has no idea what he did wrong

Should it be acceptable for a lady to get down on one knee and propose to her man if she's truly in love with him, or is that only supposed to be a man's job?

Should it be acceptable for a lady to get down on one knee and propose to her man if she's truly in love with him, or is that only supposed to be a man's job?

People too picky these days..too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny. Have a couple of drinks and quit discriminating

The more time someone spends with you the more valuable they become to you

The more time someone spends with you the more valuable they become to you

And then someone said, "If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex"

Don't have a girlfriend; just know of a girl who would be very upset if I said that

Never get relationship advice from your single friends

Ubergirlfriend /n/ a girl who pretends to be your girlfriend just so you can give her rides to places

It is possible to be too compatible with someone that you repel them

Typical conversation with my sister and folks with kids:

Typical conversation with my sister and folks with kids:

Me: I'm so busy I don't I have anymore free time
Response: You think you're busy...wait until you have kids

Me: I hate doing laundry it takes forever
Response: You hate doing laundry...wait until you have kids

Me: I was freezing outside this morning.
Response: You were freezing this morning, wait until you have kids

Alright, I get it!

You used to text back and forth, now she cleans the house

@Cheesecake Factory: And then my colleague says: "My wife is lactose intolerant which pretty much makes me lactose intolerant"

@Cheesecake Factory: And then my colleague says: "My wife is lactose intolerant which pretty much makes me lactose intolerant"

Friendzone: That moment on a Friday night when you realize you have $25 left in your savings account which you cannot withdraw because it's the minimum allowed to keep the account opened without accruing monthly charges

Friendzone: That moment on a Friday night when you realize you have $25 left in your savings account which you cannot withdraw because it's the minimum allowed to keep the account opened without accruing monthly charges

It's a natural male instinct to be protectors..even for things which aren't worth protecting.